Now im listening1/29/2024 ![]() ![]() Every time you hear the speaker make factual point, jot it down on the left. Label the left side "Points", the right side "Principles". ![]() Points v Principles: draw a line down the centre of an A4 sheet. If appropriate, bring someone else into the game so you have a witness alternatively, surprise your interlocutor by checking if you are understanding them correctly, ie set out where you think they're going and ask them to confirm/correct you. The more accurate your guesses, the more evidence that your listening is improving. Guessing Game: whenever you feel that your listening might be at risk of slipping, turn it into a game by trying to guess what the other person is going to say next (either their exact words or just their direction of argument). Set an agreed review point (say, in two weeks' time) to discuss what was noticed or learned. You could even do an exchange by asking them if there's anything they'd like your help noticing about them. You could agree a fun code word to make it playful, something that no one outside the group would understand. Ask their help by inviting them to let you know without judgement any time they feel your listening has slipped (it's possible they've noticed in the past but have been too polite to mention). Team Talk: inform some trusted team members or friends that you've chosen to improve your listening skills. The more you notice the more evidence you have that your listening is improving (including in non-verbal ways). At the end of the day take another 3 mins to jot down anything that stood out to you. It's uncanny how often we spot things that were there all the time once we tune in to them. Intention Journaling: take 3 mins at the start of each day or week to set an intention around listening, eg "Today I'm going to listen out for any sign of people in distress". Then you’ll be able to zoom in and notice improvements or gaps in detail. See if there is any pattern, eg maybe your listening is high during one part of the day compared to another, or with certain people rather than others. Any time you sense your score has dropped below your baseline (5) or higher than your target (8), ask yourself what's going on. ![]() Then give yourself a baseline, so you know how much you need to improve, say 5/10 – hence, the desired improvement is 3 points. Self Scoring: score yourself in real time on a 0-10 scale. In no particular order, here follow 5 ways to know you're getting better at listening: She subsequently got back in touch with a powerful question: how will I know if I'm listening better? In case there’s anyone else out there who might benefit, I thought I'd share my reply publicly. A recent client concluded our coaching session with a takeaway aim to improve her listening. ![]()
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